Sports has always been home to egomaniacs. It’s nothing new.
From Babe Ruth pointing out home runs to Joe Namath’s “Guarantee,” the only thing more widespread than egos is drug scandals.
But even though the ESPYs were handed out earlier this week, there’s one more award yet to be given out. It’s for the sports’ equivalent of being a leper:
The Most Egomaniacal and Self-Centered Athlete Award.
The 2010 Nominees?
LeBron James and Brett Favre.
These two fellas make my blood boil. They want the focus on them more than Marsha Brady does, and recently they seem to have done anything and everything to get it.
If there’s a camera, the egotists find it. If there’s an interview, they pre-write quotes so Chris Broussard and Chris Mortensen have wet dreams.
If someone else is throwing a wedding, they steal the title of “maid of honor.”
Let’s look carefully at the two candidates and make an educated decision to choose the more despicable person of 2010.
LeBron James
The American consensus seems to show that "The Decision" was one of the biggest coups of the century.
Take that, Russian Revolution.
For more a whole day, the sports media wrote about only one topic: LeBron-ophilia.
SportsCenter barely went to a commercial without bringing in some expert to say, “Nothing’s really changed since three minutes ago when you last asked.”
Gotta love journalism at its finest.
But the selfishness oozed from the televised show. Any one who’s ever had to deliver bad news knows that it must be done quietly so sympathy is shown and coping can begin easily.
James must have not gotten that memo, or he can change his nickname to King Tact.
Rumors swirled about whether ‘Bron ‘Bron’s camp pushed for the airtime or if James even wanted to do it in the first place. But the fact of the matter is that he had the final say, and if he was just concerned about winning like he claimed, the show shouldn't have gone on.
Sounds like someone’s pulling a Mark McGwire in Congress.
He had to have the attention. He had to have Jim Gray ask him 45 useless questions before he asked the one everyone cared about. He had to take HIS talents to South Beach.
It’s all about him, not the team.
Then he takes it one step further at the Heat’s introduction bonanza. It’s fine to be confident, but he couldn’t get a single win in an NBA Finals in his first seven years. Does he need to virtually promise more than seven rings to Miami?
Pumping up the crowd is one thing, but even Stone Cold Steve Austin knows when it's time to stop the talk.
Confidence should come from winning, not forklifts, light displays, and hype.
Brett Favre
The formerly-beloved NFL quarterback and almost-guaranteed Hall of Famer is one of the biggest repeat offenders of narcissism.
In fact, that’s how he got the “formerly” attached to his name. NFL fans like him now as much as PETA likes Michael Vick.
But the way he goes about it is ridiculous. Favre must hire writers to storyboard the most interesting ways for him to get in the news.
I wish he’d just pick “jump into a volcano.”
This summer has been no exception. He goes to practice at a high school, but when all the cameras and reporters show up, guess who’s practicing his smile for them?
These kids just want to play football; they don’t need more useless people on their sideline like at a USC game at the L.A. Coliseum. But Favre refuses to shoo away a good chance to get his name out there and makes the kids suffer as a result.
“Suffer” has to be the best word to describe what he does to America. Every year, he refuses to just say, “I don’t want to go to training camp.”
Instead, he acts more indecisive than a hormone-filled teenager. If he doesn’t want to show up, no one would be surprised. But by not saying it, he’s forcing people to continue to ask, which keeps his conceited mug on air more often Law & Order.
And that show practically has its own network.
The injury indecision is no exception.
He keeps telling people he isn’t worried about his body, but then he contradicts himself by saying he needed to wait and see if he will ever be healthy.
Well, which is it? Your ego is too big to notice a bruise, so make up your mind.
And the winner is ….
No one.
That’s right, as presenter of this award, I officially plan to incinerate it. Allowing either James or Favre to win at anything would blow up their egos more, and we just can’t have that.
But the losers, clearly, are the sports fans.
Seeing two men who make more money in one year than my entire family force themselves into the public eye, hurts me inside. They have everything at their fingertips, so why take our souls too?
Let’s just hope next time they get on camera or behind a microphone, someone chucks a tomato at them.
Sadly, they’d probably brag about how no one else got something thrown at them, raising their egos even more.
